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Sometimes even taking a one hour flight from Singapore can be too much energy to recharge the batteries. So you spend as much money as you would with flights and hotel and you spend a few nights in a hotel right here in Singapore. The hotel options on Sentosa are not cheap.

We decided to spend two nights at the Sofitel Sentosa Resort and Spa on Sentosa Island. Sentosa Island is like Alcatraz Island but with a theme park, hotels and a casino. Sometimes people try to escape after a bad night at the casino.

The Down-Low on the Sofitel
The Sofitel is quite a relaxing hotel. There’s not too much noise and chaos from tourists. It seems like it’s an airport stop-over half way house and is filled with weary middle aged travelers in need of some non-airplane existence for a while.

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Bed was large and comfortable. As was the room.

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TV remote was weird.

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Room had bath and shower.

There are peacocks. If you don’t like peacocks wandering around your sun lounger then go somewhere else. I’ll take peacocks over monkeys any day. The peacocks were not aggressive and went about their business but they do call out every now and then ruining the 0 dB atmosphere.

When I booked the room I somehow bought one which included 2 hours of free booze from 7-9pm and free soft drinks all day from Le Bar (everything has “Le” in front of it). It’s because of Le French. The drinks were welcomed and the service was prompt.

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Pool was quiet and relaxing.

We lounged by the pool for the majority of our time there. We walked into the main area of Sentosa is (Starbucks, Din Tai Fung, Universal Studios) and it takes about 25 minutes. The hotel has a shuttle but we like to walk.

Food…oh food. We were disappointed with both dinners.

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The Garden. With Peacock.

Dinner numéro un. The Garden. No “Le” here. Maybe it’s not good enough for that…
It’s a few minutes walk from the main hotel building, across the road, and housed in their spa complex. It’s open all day and we arrived around 5pm. There was a peacock waiting for us. Passed the peacock in to an empty dining room. One waitress folding napkins. Refuses to talk to us, ushers another waitress into proceedings.
Me: “Hello, are you actually open?”
Her: “Yes, we are very busy as we have a party outside”
Me: “Ok…”
Her:”…..”
Me: “Can we have a table?”
Her: “Sure!”
It went downhill from there. I ordered the chicken breast from the dinner menu and got a chicken wrap from the lunch menu. Our vegetarian ordered the Grilled Vegetables and Tofu Tian. She got a microwavable vegetable lasagne thing. Disappointed!

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The “very busy” empty dining room.

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Now what I ordered. Wasn’t even good.

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Slop.

We drank their wine, got the check, bid adieu to the peacock, and left. No à bientôt to them!

Dinner numéro deux. Kwee Zeen. Get it?

We opted for something from the de-light menu expecting a tasty but low in calories extravaganza. I probably got the most boring chicken breast (I like chicken) I have ever had the displeasure of eating. This chicken collected stamps, took note of train numbers, and read technical manuals for enjoyment during its sad pathetic life. And if he didn’t the chef is le jerk and did the poor chicken a terrible dis-service. Dull. Dull. Dull.

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I’ve never experienced eating a dinner and just wishing it was over so I could find something else to tackle my taste buds.

The vegetarian option “Portobello and Vegetables” was just that. Barely.
Both our tongues registered very little taste experiences in the 30 minutes we were there. I had to stick a fork in my tongue just to make sure it hadn’t cut off all blood circulation in protest.

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Tiny portion. Bunch of mushrooms under a few sprigs of arugula.

Now I will say, both nights we had to get some bar food at Le Bar to keep us going and the sushi and satay were good. Merci. Mercy.

Anyway. Le verdict?

Sofitel Resort as a whole? Relaxing. Refreshing.
The dinners at Sofitel Resort? Dull. Pointless.