You ever just step into a place and you’re immediately not happy? I’m not talking prisons here..merely restaurants.

That was Veganburg for me. And not just because it served all vegan; I’ve been dabbling in that black art for a while now. The minute you step into Veganburg you lose all sense of hearing. There is music but it’s not very loud. It’s just that it seems to reverberate off the walls creating a swirl of noise around you. Throw in a low talking service dude and you’ve got immediate issues straight off the bat.

When you walk into Veganburg the queue hits you in the face. If it’s busy the queue leaves the front door. Mistake number one restaurant floor planner. When we got to order our fake meat, we did so but the low talker had many questions. I usually can answer these questions as they are usually not hard. I need to be able to hear them though. Passed that test finally and I pay. The total was $23.70 or something and I give a nice bunch of 3 $10 notes. “Have you got 30c?” “No”. So he has to dig into his own wallet to get me exact change. Wth?! This was before the lunch hour rush too.

Anyway, food-wise I ordered the Char-Grilled Satay burger and Mrs. Horizons the Avocado Beetroot burger. Their arrival was harked via one of those buzzing disc things and I went up to the counter to see the two burgers waiting with people leaning over them getting change and things. Not good. Nobody acknowledged me taking them; I could have walked in off the street like a vegan loving hobo and snatched them up.

The food was blah. The pattys were nondescript and if it was a real animal it would have been even more sad that something had to die to create it. I think their modus operandi is to slather stuff over their patties to try to create different tastes. It doesn’t work. Boring. Whilst we were slothing our way through the meal the queue got longer and started encroaching on the sitting space and the place got louder. And I got more annoyed. We left before I renounced veganism forever.

The moral of the story? Just because it’s a fast food-esque vegan joint doesn’t necessarily take the fast-food crappy experience out of the whole equation. If it wasn’t vegan Veganburg wouldn’t exist. Having said that…people rave about it. My thinking is these are the same people who think going to Veganburg once a week is a healthier choice than their usual KFC run.

Where it at yo?

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