Who wouldn’t pay to see two of the most acclaimed film composers in world history wrestle it out in a vat of duck fat, stripped to the waist, bloodied and bruised? Sadly, that will never happen and this peculiarly gladiatorial titled event would disappoint as it was merely a musical homage to Messrs Zimmer and Williams performed by a live orchestra conducted by Anthony Inglis.
And it was a jolly good show, it has to be said.
Movie scores when done right (and Williams and Zimmer do it right) can elicit more emotional connections to a movie and remain long in the memory. When you remember a scene; you remember the score. When you review a movie; the score plays a major part. Think of a movie, any movie. You now have the score in your head. You’re welcome.
A few empty seats a few minutes before kick-off.
As I sat and listened to the live orchestra in the Mastercard Theatre in Marina Bay Sands I fondly remembered emotive scenes and pivotal moments in each of the movies. E.T theme song? Being scared out of my mind of “sick E.T”. “Time” from Inception? Spinning top totem. Princess Leia’s Theme from Star Wars? “I love you” “I know”. Theme from Close Encounters? The final aliens reveal. Jurassic Park theme? “They’re uh…they’re flocking this way”. Schindler’s List theme? “I could have saved more” Even the instantly recognisable “Hedwig’s Theme” from Harry Potter brought me quickly back to the magic of a movie I don’t really think of as being in my top 10.
As you can tell from the short list above it was a high quality set list of many famous movie tunes. Immaculately performed and backed up by an effective yet nuanced laser show. The show finished off with a couple of Star Wars scores (with a couple of Stormtroopers appearing on the upper gangways) and Superman’s theme song (Niagara Falls rescue!). The conductor, Anthony Inglis, was a motley host with humorous asides and a couple of audience participation bits thrown in for good measure. It was also a treat to focus on different parts of the orchestra throughout to see the professionalism and timing of the various sections.
As a venue, The MasterCard Theatre is a handily located venue for events like this. I was in seat 49 in Row A of the dress circle. Right on the end of a row beside the exit door G. Unfortunately this row suffers from a maddeningly placed safety bar! If you’ve got the common sense to make your way to a live performance, you probably don’t need a safety railing! Not a show stopper but a little annoying.
I now have various movie themes going through my head…bom, bom, bom, bombebom, bombebom.
Update April 4th 2017: Both Grab (titled JustGrab it which will choose between taxis and GrabCar..cars) and ComfortDelGro are introducing flat rate trip booking on their apps. Jury is out on how these initiatives will go down with the consumers..
When we arrived in Singapore in 2011 we were beyond excited that we could access our phone and order a taxi from a couple of different apps; ComfortDelGro, Trans-Cab and SMRT Book a Taxi. Jaws dropped as we saw the little taxi on the map heading our way…we were used to Hong Kong where you had to hail the old fashioned way; this was ground-breaking stuff.
Fast forward five years and a lot has changed; apps have appeared and apps have disappeared. Let’s take a look at how the whole scene is in March 2017.
Apps that are dead
There was a time a few years ago when my “Taxis” folder was crammed full of apps. Hailo – dead. Gone.
Lyft – appeared for a short time. Now unavailable. Don’t know if it will be back.
Easy Taxi – dead. Ceases to be.
Apps that exist as of March 2017
Uber Bulldozing onto the scene in 2013 Uber is now my usual go-to app. At first, getting a lift in a personal car was strange to get used to but now it’s second nature. Constantly battling with Grab for fare deals and competitive pricing lends itself to a cheap option for getting around Singapore. Branching off from their standard UberX private car option, Uber now offers UberPool (sharing the fare with other passengers), UberExec (fancy-pants option), uberXL (up to 6 peeps), ExecLarge (fancy-pants parties of 6), and you can now just order a taxi through their app.
Grab
Launched in 2013 as GrabTaxi (renamed to Grab in January 2016 to encompass all the other options they offer), beating Uber by a couple of months, Grab was a game changer for…grabbing…taxis in Singapore. It gave us more taxis available to us as it pooled all the different companies’ taxis into one bookable engine. More taxis=more chance to get a taxi when we want. Like Uber, it dishes out fare deals and offers every few days in the quest to squash and kill any competition once and for all. Long may it last! And like Uber, it offers more options than it’s standard taxi option. It has it’s own Uber competitor (GrabCar), GrabHitch (like UberPool), GrabCar Premium (UberExec), Electric Taxi (interesting new option where you can fight against the oil giants and choose electric. Not many cars on this yet and still in Beta), a bunch of 6 seater options, and they’ve just started Coach hires. Other trials they are doing are with autonomous cars, and family friendly cars (with booster seat). Seems that Grab is branching out in a few more innovative and different directions than Uber at this stage. Let’s see!
ComfortDelGro
Nostalgia (and desperation) brings me back to this app once in a while but this is mostly long forgotten about with the power houses of marketing that Uber and Grab are. This is basically limited to Comfort’s own taxis.
SMRT Taxi
Again, this app is only limited to the SMRT line of taxis. I never use this as Grab gathers all companies together when booking.
Trans-Cab Never used it or use it now. It has only 5 thousand downloads on the Google Play Store and a rating of 2.2/5 stars. For Singapore’s second largest taxi fleet this is shocking. Also, they have recently announced they will introduce “dynamic pricing” which mirrors Uber’s Surge pricing and hikes the prices to hire a taxi when demand is high. Another loss for the customer.
Generally speaking, a good time to be looking for a taxi/car in Singapore, ignoring the surge pricing when high demand hits and the magical disappearance of all taxis when a rain storm hits.
But wait, there’s more! We all were quite perplexed that the Singapore government were allowing these private citizens to just take up driving people around for a fee. So it’s not a surprise that the government has recently stated that every driver will have to obtain a vocational license, along with other regulations that will look to curb the exponential growth of Uber and Grab. I guess it’s a case of let’s wait and see…
The queen of erstwhile surrealist humour, Eddie Izzard, stopped by Singapore this week to deliver his force majeure stand up show. Starting this particular tour in 2013, one would be led to believe Eddie has this show down to a scientific tee. And he pretty much does.
It was only when I got there I realised that I had been to the University Cultural Center on the grounds of NUS (National University of Singapore) a few years ago to see John Cleese. It’s a fine venue if you don’t want a drink before the event as there’s only one bar with one server in the lobby. I had Vietnam-esque flashbacks to Guns N Roses looking at the snake like queue before the show. And you can’t bring drinks into the actual theatre.
Izzard starts his show off with some historical observations and surreal anecdotes, often warping historical events with his own unique angle on things. I thought he would have went along on that path throughout and I thought it was a good theme for a show; surrealistic historical anecdotes along a solid timeline. He strays off on to several tangents from then on though and the show feels a little all over the place. Which, I guess, suits Izzard’s style and manic, rambling delivery. But funny? Yes, generally funny with some laugh-out-loud moments sprinkled throughout.
It’s also very apparent how his shows would work in French and German which Izzard has performed during this tour. Some clever and witty bits on those languages are tackled here and there.
Izzard takes a 10 or so minute break in the middle which leaves little room for thirsty beer hunting patrons to head down and queue yet again for their refreshments. Boo hoo.
In the second half Izzard continues where he lets off and seems to “try” new off the cuff rambles (which he drily note several times “Singapore says no”) but again it feels like even those are scripted and clinical due to the knowledge we have that he has being doing this show for coming on 4 years now.
Wrapping up, Izzard brings back a few things he mentions at the start of the show to bring a sense of conclusion to proceedings. One thing I felt dragged on for too long was the talking chicken bit. Didn’t work for me.
All in all, a funny show with some stand out (up?) highlights throughout but with a bit of a clinical sheen to it.
Leaving University Cultural Centre is, of course, a nightmare as it’s nowhere near an MRT show. Lines of people…line…the roads faces blazed from their phone screens trying to snag an Uber or Grab but we manage to entice an Uber from 15 minutes away.
I took my time buying a ticket to this as my experience attending Metallica at the Singapore Exhibition Centre in 2013 was one I wanted to forget. I bought a ticket.
Without doubt, the Singapore Exhibition Centre is the worst venue for a concert in the world. Situated in the middle of nowhere nearly floating adrift into the Singapore Strait it sits with indignation and aloofness. It’s so far away from civilisation you can see stars in the sky and phones lose the will to live and lose any sort of coverage.
I spent over an hour in a taxi slaloming through gridlocked traffic jams getting to the venue and even after that I got out and walked the rest of the way once on the final never-ending stretch of a road (which doubles as a construction route with dumpster trucks careening back and forth).
So, GnR was meant to start at 8pm, I arrived at 8:15pm after leaving my house at 6:50 or so. They started playing at 8:34pm. Many hundreds of people missed the start of the show, without doubt. I knew getting home was going to be terrible so I planned to leave before the encore (just like I did with Metallica in ’13).
Looking at LAMC Productions’ Facebook page comments, I got away lightly. Many people queued hours for food only to find everything was sold out and they had no way to spend the money they had put on their RFID bracelets (LAMC have posted on their page that they are proud of bringing GnR here!! And then mentioned they will work on refunding the credit left on RFID bracelets). Ridiculous! It’s all summed up by this guy’s experience, VIP packages ranged from $1,038 to a staggering $2,063 for a lounge experience!!
Anyway, to the concert itself I guess!
Guns n Roses were good, it was fantastic to see Axl ,Slash, and Duff do what they do. Highlights for me were “Rocket Queen”, “Estranged”, “Yesterdays”, and “Double Talkin’ Jive” as the latter three brought me back to the “Use your Illusion” days with my brother heading off to Slane to see GnR with Faith No More in support. With me at home, too young to go. To see Slash…slashing away at another classic and instantly remembered solo and to hear (barely) Axl whining his whine is something to experience. I still remember the blank BASF tape we had “Appetite for Destruction” copied on to. They were the first band I listened to where it felt kind of naughty to listen to their music and lyrics. I also had “Living on a Prayer” on a blank tape back then so the contrast was very stark! I went along the GnR path of enlightenment from then on…
Back to reality…
Sadly I can’t really talk too much about the music without mentioning the organisation of the concert. Pen B suffered from muffled and low vocals from Axl’s mic. When you can’t hear a word that Axl is singing and hear the people around you singing louder then there’s something amiss. The stage was so so far away that we all ended up just watching screens which were out of sync somewhat with reality. The fact that you have to start planning your escape route early is never good. I should be able to enjoy all of the concert and leave when I want. As I made my way outside and wrapped alllll the way around to the back of Pen B it was then I realised I could have just stood out there and watched the concert for free as it was all open and visible to all. Thankfully I got on one of the first buses out of there (ticket wasn’t checked, could have got on for free) and, although happy to see GnR finally, it is overshadowed by incompetent organisation and planning starting with venue choice.
Some say there are still ghosts of people waiting for transportation home….
I’m not sure how James Taylor found his way into my maelstrom of heavy metal and hard rock listening habits back in my younger days. But found his way, he did. To be honest it was a James Taylor “Best of” CD and I didn’t venture too far away from his “best ofs”. Funnily and mirroring my experience with his experience, during his concert at the Star Theatre this week James Taylor quipped many times about his new songs and how “they won’t take too long” to play and he would go back to his “best ofs” soon after each one.
I think, perhaps, I was in need of wistful and melodic vocals along with soothing and relaxing music to counter-point roaring electric guitars and ear-splitting drumming that heavy metal produced. I guess I still am as listening to James Taylor still has the same calming effect. The irony is not lost on me that I saw James Taylor in the middle of these concerts I am going to:
Metallica – James Taylor – Guns N Roses – Megadeth.
Mirrors my teenage years perfectly.
On the night, any doubts that Taylor’s voice or guitar playing has weakened with age disappears with his first song “Wandering”. His voice still has the caramel essence that permeates throughout this discography. Backing up Taylor on his current tour is a plethora of esteemed musicians in their own right and it shows with each note; there is musical mastery with every trumpet note and guitar strum.
Each of Taylor’s “best ofs” are present as expected with each one holding its own unique melancholic story at it’s core. “Walking Man” centred on Taylor’s absent father throughout childhood, “Fire and Rain” about his depression and drug addiction, and “Carolina on my Mind” and “Copper Line” expressing Taylor’s longing and pining for his rural home life. “Copper Line” had passed me by and it really stuck with me during the concert and I’ve been hitting it up on Spotify a lot the past few days.
If another voice sung those songs they wouldn’t work nearly as well. Taylor’s voice and song composition adds meaning that many many musicians have tried and failed to muster since we started enjoying the sound that banging stones together made.
So musically the concert was excellent. Taylor has a 20 minute interlude which he seemed to question why light heartedly beforehand. He spent the time signing a never-ending autograph/selfie line from the stage (which over-ran the said 20 minutes and got everyone a little impatient).
The Star Theatre is a fine venue for concerts and I’ve seen quite a few there; sound always seems to be excellent. The never-ending escalator journey up from ground level can be a little vexing though.
Next up on the concert to-do list…Guns N Roses…a little different.
December. What do you want? Sunshine and beaches to not think about the festive season or cold and snow and mulled wine to soak it all up? If it’s the latter then you can do a lot worse than travelling to Switzerland for the festive season.
We had 5 nights based in Zurich over the Christmas period and took full advantage of the amazing train network they have in Switzerland to explore some of the surrounding areas.
Train Details
No problem to have a few beers on the train. There is an amazing beer shop in Zurich Bf called “Drinks of the World”
Although convenient they are expensive so do the math and explore purchasing a Travel Pass for the amount of days you need it. We got it at Zurich HB (central train station) and you need to have a valid photo ID with you. Our Singapore work passes were good enough. We opted for the 3 day pass as we would do the bulk of our travelling in the middle three days of our stay. I used the Swiss Rail website to predict how much our train journeys would total without the pass and it was financially worth it to buy the pass. Do it if you will save money.
Zurich
Zurichsee
Zurich has a reputation for nothing much going for it. True that it is a business city but it’s certainly worth a night or two to see the sights. Perhaps, without the delightful Christmas markets, there may not be much of a vibe apparent but we enjoyed our time wandering around. Looking at how we travelled over the 3 days it probably makes more sense to base yourself in Lucerne. We stayed in the Central Plaza Hotel which was a couple minutes walk from the train station and across the road from a Starbucks (if that floats your caffeine boat).
Fraumunster Church
So, in retrospect, we didn’t really do much in Zurich apart from walk the old town areas and visit the few churches they have there, wandered down Bahnhofstrasse (the main shopping street), and took in all the festivities at the various Christmas markets. There is a National Museum and a few other museums but time wasn’t on our side with all the day trips we took.
Rheinfalls
A quick 50 minute train trip out on the S9 regional train to Neuhausen Rheinfalls station then a brisk walk over the Rheinfallweg bridge and you get to the Schlosslaufen (Castle overlooking the Rheinfalls). The entrance fee is 5CHF per person which you tap on an entrance gate before descending to the falls.
The falls are a must-see if you’re in the region and the vantage point you get viewing them is very unique. You make your way down right to the falls where you can touch the thunderous water flowing down the falls at a break neck speed. Worth the entrance fee.
There is a train stop right at the castle if you can’t walk back to the Neuhausen stop but there didn’t seem to be a ticket machine there and you can’t buy on the train. So be fore-warned on that.
Winterthur
Winterthur is not prominent on the tourist trail but it was another 40 minute short hop on the train from Rheinfalls so we went. Winthertur’s art gallery wasn’t open when we went so we just spent time wandering down towards their Christmas market then looped back towards the train station. Moving on.
Stein am Rhein
Again, another spur of the moment trip but I heard this place was quaint and worth the trip. 40 minutes on the train from Winterthur wasn’t going to kill us. It IS a quaint and cool little town. Little. And nothing was open for the Christmas period apart from one bar/restaurant where we killed some time downing a Swiss beer before making our way back to the train station. The buildings are cool and walking around the silent streets we could have been in the 16th century.
I would imagine it’s quite a nice place to visit in the Summer with bustling restaurants, a beautiful river-side vantage point, and perhaps some markets in the town square.
Rigi Klum
We got up early on one of our days to reach the heady heights of Rigi Klum. No cable cars for us so this was a perfect option due to its cog-wheel train that runs up every hour from Arth-Goldau. So that was our route: Zurich HB-Arth Goldau-Rigi Klum. We then descended the other cog-wheel train to Vitznau and got a boat (boat tickets included in the 3 day travel pass too!) back to Lucerne.
The ascent to Rigi Klum was misty until we got above it then you start to see the breath-taking mountains surrounding the area. It was misty every day in Switzerland in December so I feel we missed out on some lovely scenery while travelling around.
Being at the summit of Rigi Klum takes your breath away. Literally. Icy blasts pummel you into near submission but the views from the top sate the urge to run for shelter. Something about looking over landscapes from great heights rustle up some primal feelings of power and awareness of life. We had a mulled wine in the small cafe up there before heading back down to…..mull….over existential ponderings.
Vitznau after the descent on cog-wheel train isn’t worth it’s own little section here. We had to wait for the boat so we had a beer and something to eat in a cafe. Nothing much else to see but, again, I’m sure it’s a lovely place to stroll along the water front in the Summer time.
Lucerne
When in Lucerne, you must see “the Lion statue”
Lucerne feels a little more lively than Zurich. It seems to be a hub for tourists rather than business. One of the main highlights is the “dying lion” statue which on paper doesn’t really seem to justify so much attention. In my opinion, it’s well worth the attention. It’s one of the most powerful statues I’ve seen. Somehow it’s much much bigger than you can expect from photos. The facial expression, the body position, and the lion’s place embedded into the rock face all culminate in a truly powerful work of art. Venus de Milo? Pffttt in a very distant second place.
Lucerne also has areas for just wondering around taking in the architecture. Chapel Bridge cuts an interesting slice down the middle of the city. Built in the 14th Century (what?!?!) it provides an interesting angle on the city from the river’s vantage point and adds a unique flavour to Lucerne’s appeal as a tourist destination.
We actually visited Lucerne twice in our travels. On the second visit we spent time at their Christmas market/ice rink beside the Lucerne HB and then popped into see the Art Museum. The Swiss Travel pass guarantees you free access to some museums and art galleries around Switzerland and this museum is part of that package. This art museum was okay, nothing special.
Basel
This ferry uses the river currents to get across.
Again another hour or so away from Zurich we popped along to Basel. Another plethora of Christmas markets to distract us. Got in from the cold to visit their Museum of Fine Arts (another free admission with the Swiss Travel Pass) which was quite good and they had a Jackson Pollack exhibition on which was interesting to see. Like other towns we wandered around, taking in the architecture and finding a vantage point over the Rhine from a Christmas market.
Bern
Finally, our last stop of this whirlwind trip to Switzerland we stopped off in Bern (1 hour train journey from Basel). It was bloody freezing. We needed warmth and food but we settled for more mulled wine at one of their biggest Christmas markets.
Bern, through my frozen eyelashes, felt older and more historical than any other city. It felt like nothing had changed apart from cars and electricity. The buildings all looked unchanged. Not feeling like any museum visits we took in Bern by walking around and eyeballing the different sights that Google told us we had to (Zytglogge, Käfigturm, Kindlifresserbrunnen, Bern Minster). No, I didn’t just make all those names up.
Child-eater statue…gulp..
Ende. It was great to see all these areas of Switzerland (and remember my fading German) and left me wanting to see other areas in more affable weather. I contemplated the long trip to Jungfraujoch but maybe next time….
Religious fervour has had its fair share of bonkers moments throughout history. Sadly, most of it involving killing/torturing non-believers or other people that an old book told you to…not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Thaipusam, thankfully, restricts the torture to its very friendly and devote Hindu followers. Not that torture should play a part anywhere in life but there you go. Here’s where Thaipusam originates from:
This festival was created during one of the battles between the Asuras (or to be more specific Soorapadman) and the Devas. At one point, the latter were defeated several times by the former. The Devas were unable to resist the onslaught of the Asura forces. In despair, they approached Shiva and entreated to give them an able leader under whose heroic leadership they might obtain victory over the Asuras. They surrendered themselves completely and prayed to Shiva. Shiva granted their request by creating the mighty warrior, Skanda, out of his own power or Achintya Shakti. He at once assumed leadership of the celestial forces, inspired them and defeated the Asura forces and to recognise that day the people created the festival, Thaipusam.
According to Skanda Puranam, the legend of Murugan, and Thirupugal which are divine verses on Murugan, adhere to Shaivam principles. Murugan is the embodiment of Shiva’s light and wisdom and devotees pray to him to overcome the obstacles they face, as He is the divine vanquisher of evil. The motive of Thaipusam festival is to pray to God to receive his grace so that bad traits are destroyed.
Today, Thaipusam centres around the Kavadi Attam or the “burden dance” where Hindu followers ask for help through physical burden. This can be as little as carrying a jug of milk on your head to piercing yourself like a human-porcupine hybrid.
Thaispusam in Singapore
This was my second time experiencing Thaipusam in Singapore. On the second day of festivities devotees get all prepped up (and poked up) at the Sri Srinivasa Perumal Temple (SSPT) and take the 4km trek to the Sri Thendayuthapani Temple (STT).
SSPT is where it’s at as an observer/weirdo taking photos of people getting impaled and/or possessed. I spent nearly 3 hours there taking it all in. Smoke, skull shaking drumming, incense, crushed squeezed limes under feet, sweat, throngs of devotees and observers clambering over each other to experience…something, and every sense under siege with every turn of your head.
When I stood still allowing the drumming to wallop over me and the smoke to fling itself around me I got a vague semblance of how these environments could elevate the stirrings of devotion you may have inside you to something more….tangible. When you have so much attacking your senses you get to lose a lot of sense. I was physically and mentally exhausted after it. I can only imagine how the people who actually took part in it felt. I loved it.
If you find yourself in Singapore for Thaipusam you need to experience it for yourself. Here’s some photos.
Metallica. The smell of leather jackets, blue denim, and wet green self-graffitied parka jackets. The pointy fonted logo that nobody could replicate or emanate to express HEAVY METAL ever again. The Black Album. Playing air guitar to “Sad But True” and “Where Ever I May Roam“. The confusing negativity from old die-hard fans baying for a return to ..And Justice For All and Master Of Puppets type slash and burn metal. The meandering and depressing direction after the Black Album. The return (somewhat) to form and roots on 2016’s Hardwired…To Self Destruct.
It’s the morning after and my hearing is not good. I SAID MY HEARING IS NOT GOOD.
I saw Metallica the last time they played Singapore in a desolate parking lot at Changi Exhibition Centre in 2013. Heavy metal should not be expressed outdoors. It’s best savoured indoors where the sound can envelop you, bounce off the walls and into your ear canals; making your ears ring for a week after. The Indoor Stadium is a much much better venue for concerts. Having said that, the sound last night was a little muddled at times, especially for the first song of Metallica’s setlist: Hardwired. But they seemed to get on top of it after that.
It says a lot about a band that include 6 songs from their latest album in a set-list of 18. They do fit in well into their set-list and the crowd were receptive yet reserved to them. It’s the classics that stand out though and are instant pleasers, which in a way is a bit of a shame that we have such overpowering fond memories of their “classic” days that you can’t help but wait for them to be played. And play them they do.
Metallica have aged well and musically are near perfect on the night. It’s worth noting that Lars Ulrich now looks like a garden gnome.
Stand outs of the night have to be Master of Puppets, For Whom The Bell Tolls, Sad But True, and Seek and Destroy. There were some minor flat notes, with James’ vocals and Kirk’s lead guitar on The Unforgiven sounding a little out of out of odds with each other during the verses. That’s nit-picking though.
One thing about the new album songs is that they’re not short. Average song length is about 6 or so minutes so they can get a little plodding.
Mention must be made about the stunning light and visual show that Metallica have on this tour. The screens give amazing close-ups of the band throughout which is very welcoming in a venue the size of the Indoor Stadium. The back-drops and lights that accompanied each song were top notch too.
Overall, a very good show indeed. Wonder will I get to see them again for the fourth time…? And where…?
Singapore Indoor Stadium as a concert venue standing on it’s own? Not bad. I arrived at 19:45 for what was stated as a 20:00 start. I walked straight into Pen B through the West Premier entrance without queues. I have a big problem with not knowing if there’s a support band or not. I was dreading having to stand through some guys biting their guitars for 30 minutes or so. Thankfully Metallica appeared on stage around 20:30.
Queues for merchandise were horrendous. Sadly.
It didn’t look like there were enough food and beverage stalls. The lines were horrendous even a few minutes before the show started (at what point do you say “meh, didn’t need a beer anyway?”). The lines for merchandise outside before the gig were also huge and put me off buying anything. Something that needs to be looked at for future gigs methinks.
Ok, I took a few photos. I admit it. Then when I moved to the back of the venue for a quick getaway I filmed a little bit of Nothing Else Matters. Nobody was behind me, okay!
I swear, there was a guy in front of me for the first 6 or 7 songs live streaming the whole thing. He wasn’t the only one. There were people there who held up their cameras for the majority of the show. At times I would have had a good view of the stage if not for the stance of a new generation….hand in the air grasping a device.
When I went to the back there were more people taking selfies with the concert going on behind them than there were people actually watching and listening to the joy and magic that is LIVE MUSIC going on RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!
So I’ve started trying to make my time in airports at least a little less painful. Here’s how.
1. Get a Priority Pass Card
If you’re not Richy McRich and fly First Class everywhere this might be an option for you. When my bank said to me last year I needed to get a new credit card I looked at their options and saw one that accrued air miles and also gave you a one year membership to something called Priority Pass, I read on. Priority Pass allows you to access certain airport lounges for a fee that would not be usually open to your everyday scumbag economy class traveler like me. I didn’t know about this. This could be a game changer. The membership my bank was offering was one where you get your first two visits to a lounge for free and then you pay $27 for each visit (charged automatically to my credit card) after and you can bring up to one guest. Sold. Whatever.
I have now used it every time I am flying and the relaxation, comfort, somewhat edible buffet food, and free booze makes the start of travel that little bit more manageable. If I can put away a couple of plates of food, a couple of beers, and stretch out and relax I think $27 is a steal.
There are different levels to membership I will look at when my first year is up. The more you pay the more free visits you get. You just have to estimate the amount of times you may be flying in a year and choose the right one for you.
One bummer I found recently with my trip to Australia was the lack of participating lounges in Australian airports (ie. only Cairns had a lounge when I was visiting although now Brisbane and Darwin have participating lounges). From a little investigating this is down to Virgin Australia removing itself from the Priority Pass network in 2011. Also in 2015, United Airlines pulled their lounges from the Priority Pass network greatly reducing Priority Pass’s presence worldwide.
2. Gate Awareness
Scope out your gate then scope out other gates within reasonable walking distance that are emptier and don’t have any flights leaving before yours. These are usually emptier and more relaxing meaning you can stretch out and prepare yourself mentally for the flight ahead. This is my main tactic. Sometimes it’s just not feasible but I try this every time.
3. Fuel for the Flight
Eat a snack or two (chips/sandwich and water); don’t gorge on fast food or heavy meals before flying. If it’s an hour long flight do whatever the hell you want but anything longer you don’t want to be bloated or want any unwanted reaction. Eat them in a quiet area (see above) and chill. Don’t forget you also have that healthy and hearty airplane food to look forward to!
4. Keep Informed
Check apps like FlightAware or FlightRadar24 to keep tabs on any delays or gate changes. I also download the actual airport app too just in case. If there is one.
5. Read light
Get some magazines that you would never in a million years read on any other normal day. For me, that’s movie magazines. For others, that might be Fly Fishing Monthly.
6. Chillaxe Yo!
Day dream. Meditate. Whatever you call it. Zone the hell out. Forget about what is happening around you. Airports are full of people who are stressing the hell out. Put in the earbuds and listen to some music that will help with this. Find a quiet place both physically and mentally.
7. Avoid The Rush
Finally, no need to join the mad scramble for the plane. You have a seat number right (well, maybe…)? Wait for the zone number or whatever. Although, this ties in with my method of just putting my backpack under the seat front; I don’t need to fight for overhead space. The longer you wait in the lounge the less time you sit in the opposite of a throne that they call airplane seats.
These barely make airports..bearable for me but every little bit helps. See you at Gate 34. My flight will be leaving from Gate 20.
Here’s how I barely survive the hell that is flying in the “cheap” seats in airplanes.
1. PLANNING
My plan of survival starts with planning my travel months beforehand. Fact: some airlines have better planes, seats, and in-flight entertainment than others. I pay more for a better plane and a better airline and start from there. If it’s a route I haven’t taken before I check out a number of third party websites (Zuji, Expedia, Google Flights) to see which airlines travel there. I usually never book on these websites and always go through the airline’s own website. Just a little simpler and there never really is any difference in price and probably slightly cheaper this way. If I know that budget airlines fly in that area and they’re not appearing on the third party websites I will go to their website and check it out.
Tip: If you type in to Google “flights singapore-hong kong” Google will give you a quick summary of what airlines fly that route which will give you a good summary:
If you have connections, you need to scope out how long it might take you to transfer ( Do you need to pick up the bags from the carousel and place them in a transfer area? Do you have to travel 20 miles between terminals *cough Heathrow* ?) Having a longer connection sometimes is less stressful. I find 3 hours in between international flights is usually a comfortable timeframe.
2. SEATS
You’ve booked the flights. Seats time. I’m an economy guy unless I find an amazing business class deal (Air India Business Class is sometimes cheaper than Singapore Airlines Economy to Mumbai on 787 and KLM Singapore-Bali sometimes has some good Business Class deals). Does the airline offer Premium Economy? You may as well take it if it’s within your budget. What type of plane is it? You must check out SeatGuru. Travelling as a couple?
On an Airbus 330/340? Choose the two seats on the side option.
Travelling on a Boeing 777/747/ or Airbus 380/350? Choose two seats in the middle three/four as nobody will be clambering over you then or vice versa on the side three seats.
Travelling on a narrow body? Choose two aisle seats across from each other. That way you each have at least some space on one side of you with the chance that the middle seat is empty. Travelling alone?
On long haul wide body airplane flights choose the aisle seat in middle seating. That way only one person can bother you getting up to the toilet. When choosing your seat online look for empty seats in the middle of the middle section and empty seats in front of you. Maybe, just maybe, nobody will take them up and you wont have a seat in your lap and somebody fighting for elbow room beside you. On short hop flights on narrow body airplanes, choose the window seat if you think you can make it without toilet breaks.
Avoid seats near toilets (bulk row seats are commonly near toilets); the line of people is annoying. And the smell sometimes…well…
Bothered by turbulence? Center seats over the wings are preferable. Seats at the back of the plane tend to move side to side and have a different, more unsettling feeling in turbulence. Let’s face it though, turbulence happens and even though the B787/A350 is said to have a turbulence detection and dampening system, you’ll still ride through it more often than not no matter where you sit.
On a related note; KEEP YOUR SEATBELT ON! It beggars belief that there are still injuries occurring in those cases of severe turbulence because people are smashing their heads on the roof because they’re not strapped in.
3. STAY ALERT
Plane looking a bit empty and boarding is well under way? Always ask the flight attendant about the load and about moving to a more spacious area. I’ve often won the race to get 3 side seats to myself by asking early. Sit on the aisle/middle seat until after cruising so nobody gets an idea to share the three seats with you!
4. NOT DYING OF BOREDOM
I can’t sleep on planes. So I watch a lot of in flight entertainment. Start with short episodes, then move on to movies, then end with short episodes. Your brain won’t want to invest too much energy in Gone With The Wind near the end of a long haul flight. Short and snappy episodes are better. If you have a tablet/laptop load it up with your favourite movies/TV shows; you never know when the in-flight movie/TV choices will be pretty lame. Netflix now allows you to download shows so get to it!
I can’t sleep on planes so sometimes I drink alcohol. Yeah, that’s right. Everybody says don’t do it. I say I’ll handle my own dilemmas thanks very much.A couple of wines/beers puts you in to a more sedate mode; you might even nod off for a bit. If you are a violent and miscreant drunk then please skip over this paragraph. I find that I never lose any sense of common sense with alcohol on planes no matter how much I drink; I’ve tried. Believe me. Ethiopian Airlines from Addis Ababa to Bangkok; I may have depleted their weekly allowance of Heineken. There was no in-flight entertainment…I had to do something…
Anyway, it works for me but it might not work for you and I tend not to drink on narrow bodies as access to toilets is less..accessible.
5. FOOD
Bring snacks on board. If at all possible put a carry-on under the seat in front of you for easy access. You will never know how inedible the food they serve you will be.
6. COMFORT
Economy Comfort/Premium Economy I’ll pay for within economic reason. Extra leg room like bulkhead row or emergency exit? I don’t go for it. More often than not at the bulkhead it’s beside a family with newly borns (not their fault etc.). Bulkheads usually go hand in hand with being beside the toilets too. With the evolution of in-flight entertainment being available the minute you get on board with some airlines (eg. Singapore Airlines or Emirates) you will be stuck until cruising altitude until you can take the screen out of the armrest.
Person in front has reclined in to your knee caps? Nothing much you can do about it unless you buy this which might just end up with you in a 40,000 feet fist fight. You can make a big deal about forcefully changing the angle of your TV and making sure you let the flight attendant know to tell them to push it forward when meals are served. When you are getting out to go to the bathroom make sure you bump as much as you can in to their seat; it actually will probably happen naturally anyway due to your confined space.
I just get really irked if they aren’t sleeping and are just watching TV. How much more comfortable are you right now? You are now reclined a few inches back. Congratulations.
7. LOSE TRACK OF TIME
A watched pot never boils. I always try and ignore flight maps and flight time left. Just pile on the TV shows and movies and embrace the inner couch potato you have inside you. You’ll know when you’re getting closer when they either a) start serving the final meal or b) the captain comes on and mumbles on about descending soon, thanking you for flying with us and hoping to see you soon mumble mumble mumble.
That’s about it. There’s not a lot you can do to actually immensely enjoy economy class flying. Especially on long haul flights. See you in 45D. Weeping.
